At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
