my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
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