I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
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