is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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