omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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