No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
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