Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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