Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize