yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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