We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont even know how to be here
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
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