but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
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