Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Never joke about your clitoris.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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