I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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