I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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