Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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