He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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