Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
