I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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