i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
