I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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