I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize