So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
