Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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