Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
