Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
