You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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