Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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