we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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