Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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