somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I need moral support for this bender
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
