somebody snuck up and got me drunk
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
