I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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