All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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