dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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