yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Randomize
