There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize