i don't plan on having that self control this summer
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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