Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize