it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
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I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
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Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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