I could make wine with my vomit
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
