Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Randomize
