he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
