About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
