You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
