Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
