Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
