At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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