chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize