I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
