His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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