Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
