he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
