evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
