Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize