I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
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