Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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