Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize