She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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